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                                        XXXI Hymns 

                           Fr. Achad (Charles Stansfield Jones)

                                 Key entry by Fr. Nachash

                                   Ur.us-Hadit Camp, OTO

                                  Completed 11-21-90 e.v.



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                                            XXXI HYMNS



                                        TO THE STAR GODDESS



                                            Who is Not





                                      BY XIII: which is ACHAD







                                         I ... Invocation



            Mother of the Sun,  Whose Body is White with the  Milk of the Stars,

          bend upon Thy servant and impart unto him Thy Secret Kiss!



            Enkindle within him the Holy  Ecstasy Thou hast  promised unto  them

          that love Thee; the Ecstasy which redeemeth from all pain.


                                                                            1432

            Hast thou  not proclaimed: All the  sorrows are but   shadows,  they

          pass and are  done,   but  there   is  that which remains?   That  the

          Universe is  Pure   Joy-that   Thou  givest   unimaginable   Joys   on

          Earth--that  Thou demandest  naught in sacrifice?



            Let me then  rejoice,  for therein may I serve Thee most fully.  Let

          it be Thy   Joy to see my joy; even as Thou  hast promised in Thy Holy

          Book!



           Now, therefore, am I Joyful in Thy Love.





                                               AUMN



                                         II ... The Brook



            I wandered beside the running stream, and mine eyes caught the glint

          of Thy Starry Orbs in the swirling waters.



            So  is  it  with  my  mind;  it  flows   on  towards the  Great  Sea

          of Understanding wherein I may come to know Thee more fully.



            Sometimes,   as  it journeys, it  threatens to overflow its banks in

          its eagerness to reflect a wider image of Thine Infinite Body.



            Ah! How  the very stones,  over which  flow the life  of my   being,

          thrill at the tender caress of Thy reflected Image.


                                                                            1433

            Thou, too,   art   Matter;  it   is   I---Thy  Complement---who   am

          motion!  Therefore these very stones are of Thee, but the Spirit---the

          Life---is the very Self of me; mine Inmost Being.



            Flow  on,  O   Stream!  Flow  on,  O  Life!  Towards  the Great  Sea

          of Understanding, the Great Mother.



                                      III ... The Rose Garden



            Long have I  lain and waited for Thee in the  Rose Garden  of  Life;

          yet ever Thou withholdest Thyself from mine Understanding.



           As I lay I contemplated Thy nature as that of an Infinite Rose.



           Petals, petals, petals.. but where, O Beauteous One, is Thy Heart?



            Hast Thou no  Heart? Are Thy  petals Infinite so  that I may   never

          reach the Core of Thy Being?



            Yet,  Thou   hast   said:  "I love  you!  I  yearn to you!   Pale or

          purple, veiled  or voluptuous,  I who am all pleasure and  purple, and

          drunkeness of the innermost sense, desire you: Come unto me!"



            Yea! Mine innermost sense is drunken; it is intoxicated upon the Dew

          of the Rose. Thy Heart is my Heart; there is no difference, O Beloved.



            When  I shall have penetrated  to the Heart  of Thine Infinite Rose,

          there shall I find Myself.



           But I shall never come to myself---only to Thee.


                                                                            1434



                                       IV ... The Fox Glove



            Tall  and  straight  as  a Fox Glove do I stand before Thee,  Mother

          of Heaven.



            The flower of my  being  is given over to a strange conceit;  I grow

          up towards the Stars and not towards the Sun.



           Art Thou not Mother of the Sun?



            Thus have I blasphemed the Lord and  Giver of Life for Thy sake. Yet

          am I not  ashamed,  for   in  forgetting   the  Sun   I am become  the

          Sun--Thy Son--yet  a thousand times more Thy Lover.



            The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have  nests,  but  now

          I have nowhere to lay my head; for tall and straight as  a  Fox  Glove

          do I stand before Thee. My resting place is the Womb of the Stars.



            Yet  all that  I may comprehend of Thine Infinite Body   is  but  as

          the Glove  upon one of Thy  soft sweet hands, touching  the Earth, not

          hurting the little flowers.





                 


                                                                            1435



                                   V ... The Storm



            A Dark Night and the Storm. The lightening  flashes between Thee and

          me.  I am dazzled so that I see Thee not.



            So in the depths  of my being flash the fires of life;  they   blind

          me to the Understanding of Thee and Thine Infinite Body of Stars.



            Yet  I  see  Thee  reflected in  the body of her  I love, as we  lie

          with quivering limbs awaiting the coming of the sound of thunder.



           She fears the thunder, and turns within herself for consolation.



            But even there the Lightning flameth, for I have loosed the fires of

          my being within the  dark  recess---in honour of   the Storm  and   of

          Thine Infinite Body which I see not.



                                    VI ... The Hole in The Roof



            Once  I knew  an ancient  serpent.  He delighted   to   bask  in the

          Sunshine which penetrated through a tiny hole in the roof of the cave.



           He was old and very wise.



            He said: "Upon me is  concentrated the  Light  of  the   whole Univ-

          erse."


                                                                            1436



            But a little brown  beetle,  who had long lived  in   the  cave with

          him, looked   up,  and   spreading   his wings passed out  through the

          hole  in roof---into the Infinite Beyond.



            Thus,  forsaking  wisdom,  would I  come to Thee,  Beloved Lady   of

          the Starry Heavens.





                                        VII ... The Design



            Strange  curves:  and  every  Curve  a  Number woven into a  Musical

          and Harmonious Pattern.



           Such was the design showed me by my friend when first we met.



            It was  like an exchange of  greetings by means of  an inward recog-

          nition.



            Oh! Could   I  but   grasp  the   Ever-changing  Design  of Thy Star

          Body, Mother  of Heaven!



            Yet, it  is written: "Every  man and every woman  is a star.   Every

          number is infinite, there is no difference."



            Such  then is Life,  for  those who love Thee:   Strange Curves, and

          every Curve a Number woven into a Musical and Harmonious Design.


                                                                            1437



                                      VIII ... The Snow Drift



            My body was blue  as Thine,  O Beloved,   when they found me.  I was

          stiff as  if  held in  a close  embrace. Nor was I conscious  of aught

          but Thee, till the small  fires of Earth brought me back with an agony

          of tingling pain.



           How came I to be lost in the snow-drift?



            I remember how  I had taken shelter  from the  blinding storm.   The

          snow fell about me, and I waited, turning my thought to Thee.



            Then  did  I realize how every snow-flake  is  built as a tiny star.

          I looked  closer, burying my face   in  the   white  pile,   as in Thy

          Bosom.   Mine arms  embraced the  snow-drift; I clung  to it  in a mad

          ecstacy.



            Thus would I have pressed  Thy Body to mine,  wert Thou not Infinite

          and I but as tiny as a star-flake.



           So was my body frozen---as by the utmost cold of inter-stellar space.



           It was blue as Thine when they found me locked in Thine embrace.


                                                                            1438



                                          IX ... Daylight



           In the Daylight I see not Thy Body of Stars, O Beloved.



            The little light of the  Sun  veils  the Great Light of the   Stars,

          for to-day Thou seemest distant.



            The  Sun burns like a  great Torch,   and Earth seems as  one of His

          little Spheres, filled with life.



            I  am but a  tiny spermatozoon,   but  within   me is  the fiery and

          concentrated essence of Life.



            Draw me up into  Thyself,  O Sun!  Project  me  into the Body of Our

          Lady Nuit!



            Thus  shall  a  new  Star  be  born,  and  I shall see  Thee even in

          the Daylight, O Beloved.


                                                                            1439

                                          X ... The Bird



            Once I bought a  little bird;  his cage was very small;  it had only

          one perch.  He  was so young he had  not even learned to sing,  but he

          chirped gladly when I brought him home.



            Then I raised the bars of his cage,  and   without a moment's hesit-

          ation  he flew out into  the room,  and   spying   the  cage   of  the

          love-birds, perched upon it and examined it carefully.



            Not long  afterwards another and  stronger cage  was  obtained   for

          the love-birds,  for  they had pecked through some of the frail  bars.

          When  the   little bird  was  offered the  discarded cage,  he quickly

          hopped from his tiny  one  to theirs.



            Now he  has three perches and room for his tail,  and  when we  open

          the door of his cage he refuses to come out.  Perhaps he fears to lose

          what he  had  once coveted and then obtained.



            Herein lies  the secret  of  Government.  Give the  people what will

          make them reasonably  comfortable;  let   them have three  perches and

          room  for their tails;  and forgetting their slavery and restrictions,

          they will be content.



            Hast Thou  not said  "The slaves  shall serve."  Lady of the  Starry

          Heaven?


                                                                            1440



                                         XI ... The Moral



            There is  another moral  to the  story of the  little bird.   Having

          gained  his desire for a larger cage,  he forgot his longing for Free-

          dom.



            The  door  remained   open;  the  room   was before him, wherein  he

          could stretch his wings and fly.



           Yet he preferred his cage.



            The wide world might have been  his  had he known how to use it, but

          he was not ready for that;  he  would have perished of cold  had I let

          him out into the wintry snow.



            Let   those  who   would  travel   the  Mystic   Path remember this:

          Earth Consciousness is an  illusion and limitation. When it  frets us,

          like  a little  cage,  our chance for greater freedom comes.



            But when a larger  cage is offered---when we obtain  Dhyana---let us

          not rest there thinking ourselves free.  The  door  is  open,  Samadhi

          lies beyond,  and   beyond that,  when  we are ready for it,  the Real

          Freedom, Nirvana.



            O  Lady of  the  Stars,   let me  not content  till I  penetrate the

          ultimate  bars and am Free---One with the Infinitely Great as with the

          Infinitely Small.


                                                                            1441

                                XII ... The Invisible Foot Prints



            Long have  I roamed the Earth delighting in the Good,  the Beautiful

          and  the True;  ever seeking  the spots  where these  seem to  be most

          Perfect.



            There is joy in this  wandering among the flowers of life, but   Thy

          Joy, O Beloved, is to be desired above all.



            Now I seek a resting place,  I am set upon a new Quest,  to  Worship

          at Thy feet.



            For  it is written of  Thee: "Bending   down,  a lambent   flame  of

          blue, all touching,  all penetrant,  her lovely hands  upon the  black

          earth, and her lithe body arched for love,  and  her  soft  feet   not

          hurting the little flowers."



            Oh!  That I might discover Thine Invisible Footprints upon the Earth

          and there come to the Understanding of Thy Being, O Beloved.


                                                                            1442

                                     XIII ... The Finger Tips



            Or,  it may be,  O Beloved,  I shall discover  the imprints  of  Thy

          finger tips amid the flowers or upon the Black Earth.



            Hath not Nemo  a Garden that he tendeth?  Doth he not also labour in

          the Black Earth?



            Who knoweth when Thy hands  may grasp me and  draw me up into  Thine

          arms, there  to nestle  at Thy breast,  to feed upon  the Milk  of the

          Stars?



            Beloved,   verily this tending of the Garden of the World---although

          the labor may seem heavy---leadeth to a Great Reward.  As   Thou  hast

          said:  "Certainty,   not   faith,   while  in  life upon  death, rest,

          ecstasy." Nor dost  Thou  demand aught in sacrifice.



           What do the Bhaktis know of Love? They see the Beloved everywhere.



            But when I am one with Thee,  O Beloved,  I shall not see Thee,  for

          I shall know Theee as Thou art.





           


                                                                            1443

                                    XIV ... The Well of Stars



            I  know  a  hidden  well of clearest  water.  Naught but the  coping

          of delicate pink onyx is visible until the secret spring be touched.



           Then beware! For above the entrance hangs a fiery sword.



            Few  find this  Well or  know its  Secret; there  are but  two roads

          leading thereto.



            From the broad Mountain summit we may search the slopes for a vision

          of the  Woodland Delta where  grow the Trees  of Eternity,   or we may

          journey  through the Valley between  the Ivory Hills---if  we fear not

          the  purple shadows and the black pit-fall.



           From Thee we came; to Thee may we return, O Well of Living Stars!



                                    XV ... The Icicles of Isis



            It  hath been  written  how the  Old King  dreamed  of his  banished

          peacock, entombed in a palace of ice,  who  cried:  "The  Icicles   of

          Isis  are falling on my head."



            Thus it is with those who arebanished to the Palace of the  Moon----

          for the Word of Sin is Restriction.



            Oh! Lady of  the Starry Heavens,  let   me not become frozen  at the

          touch of the cold Veil of Isis. For the Moon is but the dead reflector

          of the Sun, and He but the youngest of Thy Children of Light.


                                                                            1444

           Let me lift Thy Peacock Veil of a Million Starry Eyes, O Beloved!



           Show Thy Star Splendour, O Nuit; bid me within Thine house to dwell!





                                        XVI ... Purple Mill



            The delicate  purple mist streams up from the hills:   I  watch  and

          wait for the meaning of it all.



            Sometimes  it  seems  like  the incense  smoke of Aspiration ascend-

          ing towards   the  Sun---giver  of  Light,   Life,  Love  and  Liberty

          to the Children of Earth.



            But  the Sun is   going  down behind the  Mountains,  and Thy Starry

          Lamps glow in the Sky.



            Is not the Lamp above the Altar a symbol of the Desire of the Higher

          to draw up the lower to Itself?



            So, O Lady of Heaven, I liken the Mist to the  life-breath of  Souls

          who pant for Thee here below.



           And I remember Thy words:

                                    Above, the gemmed azure is

                                      The naked splendour of Nuit;

                                    She bends in ecstacy to kiss

                                      The secret ardours of Hadit.

                                    The winged globe, the starry blue,

                                      Are mine, O Ankh-af-na-khonsu!


                                                                            1445

            I, too,  would ascend as a  delicate purple mist that steams up from

          the Hills. Art Thou not all Pleasure and Purple?





                                   XVII ... The Infinite Within



            I  would that  I were  as the  feminine counterpart   of   Thee,   O

          Beloved; then would I draw the Infinite within.



            Yet  since  Thy  Pure Being must ever be more refined than this body

          of  mine I  should interpenetrate  every part  of Thee with  my living

          flesh.



            Thus,   O  Beloved, should  we enter  into a  new and  more complete

          embrace: not as  of  earth wherein the male uniteth with the female by

          means  of the  physical  organs  of  love,  but with  every atom of my

          being close pressed to every atom of Thine---within and without.



            Then,  O  beloved,  would  I  cry unto the Lord of the Primum Mobile

          to teach me the Art of the Whirling Motion of Eternity.



            Thus, whirling  within  Thee,  our never-ending  nuptial feast shall

          be celebrated, and a new System of Revolving Orbs be brought to birth.



            Ah!  the shrill  cry of Ecstacy of that Refined Rapture---the Orgasm

          of the Infinite Within.


                                                                            1446

                                   XVIII ... The Rainbow



            As I  sat in the shelter  of the forest glade,   my   eye caught the

          multi-coloured gleam of diamonds.  I  looked again;  the Sun rays were

          playing upon the dew which clung to a little curved twig.



           It seemed like a tiny rainbow of promise.



            Then,  while I watched in  wonder,  a small grey spider  bridged the

          arch of  the bow with his silken thread.



            Ah! My Beloved,  thus, too,  hath the  Spider of  Destiny woven  his

          silken rope from extreme to extreme of the Great Rainbow of Promise.



            Fate hath fitted me as  an Arrow to the String of Destiny in the bow

          of the Sun.



            But Whose Hand shall draw  that Mighty Bow,  O Beloved,  and send me

          upon fleet wings to my resting place within Thine Heart?


                                                                            1447

                                        XIX ... Dropped Dew



            As I came from  tending the Rose Garden and was about  to  return to

          my humble shelter,  my  eyes  caught  the gleam of dropped dew like  a

          tiny trail  along the path.



            It was  very early;  the   Sun  had   not yet re-arisen;  the  Stars

          still twinkled faintly in the sky.



           Who could have come before me to the Garden?



            I followed   the  trail  of  dew,  stooping   down  so that I saw in

          each crystal drop the reflection of a tiny star.



            Thus came I  to  my  lady's  chamber; she it was who carrying  roses

          had left this silvery thread as a clue to her hiding place.



            When I  found her, her eyes were closed, as she pressed the fragrant

          the pink blossoms to her white breast.



            Then did I  bury my face in the blossoms  and I saw  not   her  eyes

          when she opened them in wonder.



            Thus,  too,   would  I  follow  the Star-trail  of Dropped Dew,  ere

          the re-arisen Sun hides Thee from me, O My Beloved!



            Thus would I  come to Thee and bury  my face in Thy Breast  amid the

          Roses of Heaven.


                                                                            1448



            Nor   should  I  dare  to  look  into Thine eyes,  having discovered

          Thy secret---the Dew of Love---the Elixir of Life.





                                          XX ... Twilight



            Twilight... and in a few brief moments the Stars will begin to peep.

          I will await Thee, here amid the heather, O Beloved.



            I  wait... no stars appear for a mist has stolen up from the foot of

          the mountains.



            Thus I waited for a sight of Thy Star Body till the cold  damp  mist

          of suppresed emotion chilled my being and my reason returned.



            The woman stood girt with a sword before me.  Emotion  was  overcome

          by clarity of perception.   Then did I remember Thy words:  "The Khabs

          is in the   Khu not the Khu in  the Khabs. Worship then the  Khabs and

          behold my light  shed  over ye."



            Thus turned  I my thoughts within,  so that I   became  concentrated

          upon the  Khabs---the Star of mine  inmost being.  Then  did Thy Light

          arise as a halo of rapture, and I came a little to lie in Thy bosom.



           But I offered one particle of dust---and I lost all in that hour.



           Such is the Mystery of Her who demandest naught in sacrifice.



           The twilight is returned.


                                                                            1449

                                       XXI ... The Dog Star



            Wisdom hath  said: "Be not animal;  refine thy rapture!   The  canst

          thou bear more joy!"



            I have  been   like  an unleashed  hound before Thee, O Beloved.   I

          have striven towards Thee and Thou seest in me only the Dog Star.



            Yet will I not fall  into the Pit called  Because,  there to  perish

          with  the dogs of reason.   There   is no reason in  me; I seek Under-

          standing, O Mother  of Heaven.



            Thus,  with   my  face buried in the black earth,  do I turn my back

          upon Thee. I will refine my rapture.



            So  Thou mayest behold me  as I am, and so  Thou shalt Understand at

          last, O Beloved; for in reverse Thou readest this DOG aright.



           Hast Thou not said: "There is none other?"


                                                                            1450

                                        XXII ... Pot-pouri



            The roses are falling.  This is the night of the full  moon  whereon

          the children of Sin attend the Sacred Circle.



            Therein they will sit divided---but  not for love's sake---for  they

          know  Thee not---O  Beloved.   Into   the  Elements,   the  fiery, the

          watery, the airy  and  the  earthly   Signs are they divided when they

          gather at the Full Moon within the forest.



            I  wandered   down  the  deep shadowy glade,  there I espied a  tiny

          sachet  of pot-pouri, dropped---maybe---from  the streaming  girdle of

          one of the maidens.



            Tenderly I raised it.  Its  perfume  is  like unto the perfume ofher

          I love.  She, too,   perhaps,  has  heard the call  of the moon and is

          even now on her way to the secret tryst.



            But hast Thou  not said:  "Let  there   be no difference made  among

          you between  any  one   thing and any other thing; for thereby  cometh

          hurt."  What matter  then  the  name  of the  maiden?  What matter the

          flowers of which it is composed?



            Yet dare  I not burn this  incense unto Thee, O  Beloved, because of

          Thine hair, the Trees of Eternity.



            Oh!  Little   sachet of pot-pouri,   thou hast reminded me of  her I

          love, for the  roses  are  falling,  it is the night of  the Full Moon

          and the children of Sin gather to attend the Sacred Circle.


                                                                            1451

                                      XXIII ... Red Swansdown



            It hath  been  told  how  Parzival  shot  and  brought down the Swan

          of Ecstacy as it winged over the Mountain of the Grail.



            But there is within the archives another story,  unheard by the ears

          of men.



            From  the  breast of  the Eternal  Swan  floated one  downy feather,

          steeped in  blood.  This   did  the  youngest and least worthy  of the

          Knights  hide tenderly in  his  bosom  till he concealed it within the

          hard pillow of his lonely couch.



            Night  after  night that  holy pillow  became  softer; sweeter   and

          sweeter were   his  dreams.   And  one   night---the  night   of   the

          crowning   of Parzival---he   was  granted  the   Great Vision wherein

          the Stars  became like   flecks   of   Swansdown   upon the  Breast of

          Heaven, each living and throbbing, for they  were  steeped in Blood.



            Then  did every  atom of  his being  become a  Star racing  joyfully

          through  the Great Body  of the Lady  of Heaven.   Thus in sweet sleep

          came he into the Great Beyond.



           Grant unto me Thy Pillow of Blood and Ecstacy, O Beloved!


                                                                            1452

                                      XXIV ... Passing Clouds



            A  dark  night:   Not  a  star   is visible, but presently the  moon

          shines out through a rift in the clouds.  And I remember, "The sorrows

          are  but  shadows, they  pass and are  done, but there  is that  which

          remains."



           Yet is the moon but illusion.



            A dull day: but presently the Sunis seen as the clouds are dispelled

          by His light.



           Is He that which remains?



            Night once more: the Sun is lost to sight,  only the moon reminds me

          of His presence. The clouds scud swiftly across the Sky and disappear.



            Thy   Star  Body is visible,  O Beloved; all the sorrows and shadows

          have passed and there is that which remains.



           When clouds gather, let me never forget Thee, O Beloved!


                                                                            1453



                                    XXV ... The Coiled Serpent



           Thus have I heard:



            The ostrich  goeth swiftly; with ease  could he outstrip those   who

          covet his  tail-feathers,   yet   when  danger  cometh he burieth  his

          head in the sand.



            Thetortoise moveth slowly and when embarrased he stoppeth,  withdra-

          wing into his own shell; yet he passeth the hare.



            The  hare  sleepeth when he should be swiftly moving;  he runneth in

          his dreams thinking himself at the goal.



            But the Coiled Serpent hath wisdom, for he hideth his tail and it is

          not coveted; he  raiseth his head   and  fears not;   he moveth slowly

          like the tortoise, yet withdraweth not; he nestles close  to the hare,

          darting  his  tongue with  swiftness, yet  falleth  not asleep  by the

          wayside.



            Would that I had the Wisdom  of the Coiled Serpent,  O  Beloved, for

          Thou  hast said:   "Put   on  the wings,  arouse the  coiled splendour

          within  you: come  unto me!"


                                                                            1454



                                     XXVI ... Love and Unity



            Twenty-six is the  numeration of the Inneffable Name,   but It  con-

          cealeth Love and Unity.



            The Four-lettered  Name  implieth   Law, yet  it may be  divided for

          love's sake; for Love is the law.



            The   Four-lettered Name  is  that of the  elements,  but it  may be

          divided for the chance of Union; for there is Unity therein.



            There is but One Substance  and One Love and while these  be   twen-

          ty-six they One through thirteen which is but a half thereof.



            Thus  do I play with numbers who would rather play with One and that

          One Love.



            For Thou hast said:  "There  is  naught  that  can unite the divided

          but love!"



           And is not Achad Ahebah?


                                                                            1455

                                       XXVII ... The Riddle



           What is that which cometh to a point yet goeth in a circle?



            This, O Beloved, is a dark saying, but Thou  hast said:  "My  colour

          is black to the  blind,  but the blue and gold are seem of the seeing.

          Also I have a secret glory for them that love me."



           And Hadit hath declared: "There is a veil; that veil is black."



            I would that I could tear aside the veil, O Beloved, for seeing Thee

          as Thou  art, I might see  Thee everywhere, even in  the darkness that

          cometh to a point yet goeth in a circle.



            For Hadit,   the core of  every star,  says  "It is I  that go," and

          Thou, Mother of the Stars, criest "To me! To me!"



            Resolve me the Riddle  of Life,  O  Beloved,   for  loving  Thee   I

          would behold Thy Secret Glory.


                                                                            1456

                                        XXVIII ... Sayings

            Isis hath said: "I am  all that was and that is and   that shall be,

          and no mortal hath lifted my veil."



           Who cares what is back of the moon?



            Jehovah showed his back unto  Moses,  saying:  "No man hath  seen my

          face at any time."



           Who cares to face the elements?



            Hadit  hath  said:  "I  am life and the giver of life; therefore  is

          the knowledge of me the knowledge of death."



           Who cares to know death?



            But Thou,  O Beloved, hath said:   "I give   unimaginable  joys   on

          earth,  certainty, not faith,   while in   life   upon  death,   peace

          unutterable, rest, ecstacy; nor do I demand aught in sacrifice."



           Who would not long to invoke Thee under Thy Stars, O Beloved?


                                                                            1457

                                     XXIX ... The Falling Star



            Falling,  falling, falling! Thus  fall the Rays  from Thy   Body  of

          Stars upon   this  tiny  planet,  O  Beloved!  Innumerable streams  of

          Light like Star-rain upon the black earth.



            Since  every   man  and every woman is  a star, their lives are like

          unto streams of light concentrated upon every point in Space.



            As I lay with arms out-stretched, my  bare body shining  like  ivory

          in  the darkness. my scarlet abbai flung wide, mine  eyes  fixed  upon

          the  star-lit  Heaven;   I  felt that  I, too,  was  falling, falling,

          falling, in an ecstacy of fear and love into the void abyss of space.



            Then did I remember that Thou art continuous. Beneath, above, around

          me art Thou. And lo, from a falling star I became as a comet  wheeling

          in infinite Circles, each at a  different angle, till my course traced

          out the Infinite Sphere that is the Symbol of Thee, O Beloved.



           Then did I aspire to find the Centre of All.



           And even now I am falling, falling, falling.


                                                                            1458

                                          XXX ... Justice



            I am  a Fool, O Beloved,  and therefore am I  One or Nought  as  the

          fancy takes me.



            Now am I come to Justice, so that I may be All or  Naught  according

          to the direction of vision.



            No  Breath may stir the Feather of Truth, therefore is Justice ALone

          in L. Yet the Ox-goad is  Motion and Breath Matter  if  it  be  called

          the Ox which is also A.



            How foolish are these thoughts, which are  but as the Sword  in  the

          hand of Justice.  They are as  unbalanced as the Scales that stir not,

          being  fixed in the  figure of Law  above the  Court House of  a great

          City.



           But Thou hast said: "Love is the law, love under will."



           And Love is the Will to Change and Change is the Will to Love.



            Even   in the   stern  outline   of   the  Scales   of Justice  do I

          perceive the  Instrument   of  Love,  and  in  the Life Sentence,  the

          Mystery of Imprisonment in Thy Being, O Beloved!


                                                                            1459

                                           XXXI ... Not



            Three Eternities are passed... I have outstripped a million Stars in

          my race across Thy Breast---The Milky Way.



           When shall I come to the Secret Centre of Thy Being?



            Time,   thou thief, why dost  thou rob the hungry  babe? Space, thou

          hadst almost deceived me.



           O Lady Nuit, let me not confound the space-marks!



            Then,   O  Beloved,  Thy  Word  came   unto  me,  as  it is written:

          "All touching;  All penetrant."



            Thus left I Time and Space and Circumstance,  and  every Star became

          as an atom  in  my  Body,  when   it  became Thy Body. Now never shall

          I be known,  for it is I that go.



            But Thou,   O  Beloved,  though Thou art infinitely Great,  art Thou

          not energized by the Invisible Point---the Infinitely Small?



                              A Million Eternities are Present, Deem

                                    not of Change; This is the

                                           Here and Now,

                                             and I am

                                                NOT





                                               -oOo-


                                                                            1460


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