The Book of Noodles - W.A. Clouston
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THE

BOOK OF NOODLES:

STORIES OF SIMPLETONS; OR,
FOOLS AND THEIR FOLLIES.

BY

W. A. CLOUSTON,

Author of "Popular Tales and Fictions: their Migrations and
Transformations

"Excellent! Why, this is the best fooling when all
is done."--Twelfth Night.

LONDON:
ELLIOT STOCK, 62, PATERNOSTER ROW.
1888.
REPUBLISHED BY
GALE RESEARCH COMPANY, BOOK TOWER, DETROIT, 1969

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 67-24351

TO MY DEAR FRIEND

DAVID ROSS, LL.D., M.A., B.Sc.,

PRINCIPAL OF THE
CHURCH OF SCOTLAND TRAINING COLLEGE,
GLASGOW,

THIS COLLECTION OF FACETI�
IS DEDICATED.

 

PREFACE

 

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.

ANCIENT GRECIAN NOODLES . . . 1-15

CHAPTER II.

GOTHAMITE DROLLERIES:

Reputed communities of stupids in different countries--The noodles of Norfolk: their lord's bond; the dog and the honey; the fool and his sack of meal--Tales of the Mad Men of Gotham: Andrew Borde not the author--The two Gothamites at Notts Bridge--The hedging of the cuckoo--How the men of Gotham paid their rents--The twelve fishers and the courtier--The G�r� Paramartan--The brothers of Bakki--Drowning the eel--The Gothamite and his cheese--The trivet--The buzzard--The gossips at the alehouse--The cheese on the highway--The wasp's nest--Casting sheep's eyes--The devil in the meadow--The priest of Gotham--The "boiling" river--The moon a green cheese--The "carles of Austwick"--The Wiltshire farmer and his pigs . . . 16-55

CHAPTER III.

GOTHAMITE DROLLERIES (continued):

The men of Schilda: the dark council-house; the mill-stone; the cat--Sinhalese noodles: the man who observed Buddha's five precepts--The fool and the R�m�yana--The two Arabian noodles-- The alewife and her hens--"Sorry he has gone to heaven"--The man of Hama and the man of Hums--Bizarrures of the Sieur Gaulard--The rustic and the dog . . . 56-80

CHAPTER IV.

GOTHAMITE DROLLERIES (continued):

The simpleton and the sharpers--The schoolmaster's lady-love--The judge and the thieves--The calf s head--The Kashm�r� and his store of rice--The Turkish noodle: the kerchief; the caftan; the wolfs tail; the right hand and the left; the stolen cheese; the moon in the well--The good dreams--Chinese noodles: the lady and her husband; the stolen spade; the relic-hunter--Indian noodles: the fools and the mosquitoes; the fools and the palm-trees; the servants and the trunks; taking care of the door; the fool and the aloes-wood; the fool and the cotton; the cup lost in the sea; the fool and the thieves; the simpletons who ate the buffalo; the princess who was made to grow; the washerman's ass transformed; the foolish herdsman--Noodle-stories moralised--The brothers and their heritage--Sowing roasted sesame . . . 81-120

CHAPTER V.

THE SILLY SON:

Simple Simon--The Norse booby--The Russian booby--The Japanese noodle--The Arabian idiot--The English silly son--The Sinhalese noodle with the robbers--The Italian booby--The Arab simpleton and his cow--The Russian fool and the birch-tree--The silly wife deceived by her husband--The Indian fool on the tree-branch--The Indian monk who believed he was dead--The Florentine fool and the young men--The Indian silly son as a fisher; as a messenger; killing a mosquito; as a pupil--The best of the family--The doctor's apprentice . . . 121-170

CHAPTER VI.

THE FOUR SIMPLE BR�HMANS:

Introduction 171
Story of the first Brahman 176
Story of the second Brahman 178
Story of the third Brahman 181
Story of the fourth Brahman 185
Conclusion 190

CHAPTER VII.

THE THREE GREAT NOODLES . . 191-218

APPENDIX.

JACK OF DOVER'S QUEST OF THE FOOL OF ALL FOOLS ...... 219

INDEX . . . . . 225